No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
