He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
