I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
