why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you made out with another girl for some wings
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
