I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
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