Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize