in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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