i just google imaged poop.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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