ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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