Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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