thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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