Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
