woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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