Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
