God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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