the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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