dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
false alarm, still single
jump out the window naked night went bad
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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