And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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