i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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