kristin has been a bad kristin
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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