Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
