Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
