you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
