The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
