So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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