Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
