if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
