Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The best revenge is premature balding
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
