we made out on top of his cat.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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