you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize