I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can text with my tongue
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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