weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
