I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
