he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
