first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
