R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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