What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
