I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize