so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
