Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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