At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
