Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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