I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
