Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
