the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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