good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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