good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize