Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
