I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
