Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
