I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
