Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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