What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
