what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
