was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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