I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
