Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
should my penis look like a turkey
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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