I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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